K(no)w Where to Land

Things that have changed my life lately:

Jenna Marbles. This youtube phenomenon is either wildly inappropriate or hilariously funny. With a Masters Degree from Boston College it still proves that having multiple diplomas does not negate the ability to act like a total moron in the most endearing way. If you or your best friend are ever having a downer day just tune into some Jenna Marbles and order enchiladas verdes from your local hole in the wall Mexican Eatery (the dirtier the better). Trust me, besides the regretful stomach ache you are sure to feel and the quick progression into the third trimester of Mexican food baby pregnancy. You’ll feel like a champ with not a care in the world. This is like if you give a girl a taco and a million deep-fried chips she is going to ask for a nap to go with it.

Candle-lit showers. Besides your house being lit like a horrible eighties teen movie. This will make all your stress go right away. All of the worries of the day will be absorbed by the insane scents that give you a migraine and make your throat passage close up and then be washed right down your dirty-apartment-shower- drain. At least Molly Ringwald will be there to hand your towel to you. If you can handle your roommate thinking you are the weirdest person they have ever met then you are fine.

Toting multiple pairs of glasses wherever I go. My eyes are goin’ and I couldn’t be happier. Why? you ask. Because now boys and girls, I can look like a hipster outdoors and indoors. In case you are wearing one of those “cross-over outfits” that says i might just eat ‘huncal fro yo every meal’ and live with seventy other girls you just go ahead and flip your head upside down high-bun that hair and put on your oversized lenses. No mistake here. You lady belong on “the other side of town”.

Watching Rachel Zoe. It uses no brain cells and actually may destroy about a third of them. But what is the point of watching TV if you are not going to feel at least fifty percent dumber at the end. There is one upside, you will increase your vocabulary of fun girl talk catch phrases. You’ll be in a normal intellectual conversation and you’ll find yourself adding “like” in-between every word and adding fun clauses like, “just sayin” to every sentence. You may even find yourself wearing huge sunglasses indoors and shouting out “That’s Major” like Rachel Zoe has just taken over your body. You are now five three and are wearing six inch heels. Welcome to the Rach Za Zone. That’s right kids you will not be able to say one complete word. You are obvi addicted to abrevs. This is when you go to Abrevs Anonymous and are ban from watching Rachel Zoe. Hideous cycle. just sayin.

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